Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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