OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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