I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
