oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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