I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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