Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize