Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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