hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
