a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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