does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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