:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
