i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
