so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
