dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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