A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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