whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
