Why does Corona taste like a burp?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
