Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(498): View more from

You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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(812): View more from Indiana

We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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(713): View more from Texas

Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.

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(561): View more from Florida

We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?

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(315): View more from New York

max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet

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(253): View more from Washington

He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.

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(925): View more from California

Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion

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(703): View more from Virginia

I sharted in my christmas pjs :(

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

But my shoes looked boss

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