I must be too annoying 4 u.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
