well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
