help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
