I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize