You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize