Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
