LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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