you traded sex for a burrito?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
