Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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