she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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