i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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