that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
