Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
