I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
