road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
