Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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