hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
