I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
