I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
