she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
