id be glad to
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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