I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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