He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My feet surprised me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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