remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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