it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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