why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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