My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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