Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
