Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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