i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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