I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
