Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he just fucked me for my cheese.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
