I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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