I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
