i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
