no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
