he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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