I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
