Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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