In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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