need another drink. this is the easiest way
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize