Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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