one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
