Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So vagazzling was a success
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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